VIDEO: Carol Of The Blogs

Song Lyrics

Prologue

Seasons Greetings,

It’s been a whirlwind of a year in 2009, but Absolute Marketing Group has taken a leap forward with some exciting new changes. Back in March, Absolute Marketing Group launched the new absolutemg.com featuring an entirely new look. That look became the inspiration for an entire image makeover. It started with our big move to our brand new offices. Sure we moved just down the hall, but that extra 600 square feet is a pretty big upgrade from the dorm room we held for the past three years. Speaking of three, in 2009, Absolute Marketing Group hired three new employees.

Corey Trick – Web/Multi-media Developer
Josie Danz – Media Buyer
Rebecca Resler – Web Programmer

Our continued growth and expansion can only be attributed to people like you. Thank you for continuing to challenge, inspire and motivate us. Best wishes for an absolutely wonderful holiday season and an even better 2010.

It’s Time To Rebrand Christmas

Chorus
It’s time to rebrand christmas
It’s time to rebrand christmas
Let’s do it this year

Santa is old and a little creepy
Let’s sit on the lap of Mariah Carey

Chorus

Women 26-55 no longer see red fleece as appealing. Let’s try lavender vinyl with stilettos. That will also please the men. Well, some of them.

Conscious about the economy
Instead of giving gold, we give Rice Krispies Treats

Chorus

Egg nog, drink it responsibly
Rudolph got busted for drunken flying

Chorus

(Spoken)

Now while the sleigh runs entirely on organic material and is statistically the most efficient mode of international light speed travel, PETA finds the use of animals cruel.

Focusing on home security
Barbed wire lights on the roof and chimney

Chorus

Client Fight

Client Fight
Client Fight

Holy Crap
She just snapped

Is this a bad time
We can come back

Why is he bleeding
I won’t even ask

Maybe we should just leave
Or should we call the police

Client Fight
Client Fight

Here’s the song
Of what went wrong

Man & wife, they opened a store
He made choices, she said what for

She bottled her feelings
Should have gotten therapy

Client Fight
Client Fight

Now it’s calm
It’s alright

Why did they stop, that’s not clear
“Hi come on in, we didn’t know you were here.”

She did a one-eighty
Oh boy, this must be routine

Carol Of The Blogs

Hey! Be my friend
Please be my friend
Post of today
Something to say

Update this link
What do you think
A Quicktime vid
of English kids

Come take a look
Youtube Facebook
Here’s my new Tweet
in one forty

They must like me
cuz they ReTweet
and read my blog
follow along

Farmville, FailBlog and MafiaWars

Blip! Who was that?
Looking to chat
Status to see
On the News Feed

Why is social media so addicting?
I really need to do some working.

Blame It On The Egg Nog

Ha Ha Everybody boys and girls
naughty and nice.
Rollin’, trippin’ slippin’ on the ice
Jupiter Loveship up on the mic
Dub L. Beatloaf spinning the track
Holla back. Here we go.

Christmas season X M A S
Double XL on my JCrew Sweats
Christmas vacation I relax and rest
Best time of the year and I’m taking all bets

Everywhere you go it’s holly and ivy
Green in my pockets, red cherry on the Ice-ee
I stroll by the stores, let time pass by me
Prepare myself for the christmas party

Office party invitations
Sound like celebrations
Come with stipulations
Now here’s the situation
It’s an obligation
Making conversation
Takes skill and concentration
Now start with the delegation

Of the white rimmed dixie cup
Pass the party not the buck
You don’t need clovers to get the luck
Starched shirts come untucked
Office people run amok
Throw the party down
When you sip but don’t chug

Chorus
Christmas time so uptight
That egg nog save my night
Forget your midnight clear
And pass that Christmas cheer
Jingle bell you hear it? I hear it
We sipping on Christmas spirits
A different beat little drummer
dum-de dum, da-da dum dum dum

Just bust in no R S V P
Watercoolest office V.I.P
Smelling so good like a Christmas tree
Secretary put her tinsel on me

Ladies on my lap, I’m the real St. Nick
And they scout me out like the top draft pick
Shaking snow globes till they get sick
Cuz I’m Frosty with the flow, the North Star Kid

Keep your, frankincense and myrrh
More egg nog up in here
Keep you warm like a fur
Oh no, I start to slur

Wine was the entree, egg nog dessert
Taking a cab so no one gets hurt
Write it off and we call it work
Merry Christmas to all, Happy New Year

If you won’t take down the mistletoe, then bend over to the front and touch them toes

When you get down on the floor, shake it like a present ho ho ho ho

Away In A Meeting

Away in a meeting
I see what you mean
But you called at nine-twenty
It’s now nine-thirty

What’s wrong with your email
I’ll try to help via phone
Oh you forgot your password
And expect me to know

Away in a meeting
He can’t take your call
I can give you his voicemail
But that’s about all

What is the trouble
Regarding your bill
I don’t sign your checks
Don’t threaten my health

You have an appointment
You’re looking for Mac
He went to the bathroom
He’s coming right back

Don’t call me a liar
Nature called on the phone
Go see for yourself
And catch Mac on the throne.

All lyrics produced by Absolute Marketing Group. Music production and mixing by Absolute Marketing Group. Hidden track, “Blame It On The Egg Nog” written by Dub L. Beatloaf. Lyrics and Performance by Jupiter Loveship and Dub L. Beatloaf. No egg nog was actually consumed during the writing or recording of the album. But there was beer. Absolute Marketing Group is not responsible for any injuries due to bleeding ears, headaches or psychological damages upon listening to this album. Christmas sweaters were provided by a closet of an employee who wishes to remain anonymous. 2009 Absolute Marketing Group Production. All Rights Reserved.