Let’s assume for a minute, the worst is going to happen. Glacier melting leads to floods more epic than that Kevin Costner bomb, Waterworld. Aliens invade. Volcanos erupt, while the tectonic plates slam into each other like they were in a Nirvana mosh pit circa 1993. Or, someone pushes the launch button on all the world’s nukes or a zombie epidemic breaks out. Either way, the world has been pretty much destroyed.

Miraculously, you survive.

For the sake of this article, let’s say there was a zombie attack. It’s probably the most Disney appropriate of all the previous rapture scenarios. And to be honest, zombies make for a better story. While hiding out, you discover a group of fellow survivors have come to save you, and together, you will start anew. Soon, you realize your little community has much more to worry about than severing the spinal cord of brain hungry undead.

Circled around the camp fire, your band of resilient comarades begin to discuss the careers you shared before your families went from figuratively to literally tearing each other apart during the holidays. Out of the 20 or so in your village, ten worked white-collar jobs in finance, insurance or tech careers. Three worked in service or retail industries, and two were full-time students. So acclimated to a world of luxury and specialization, your compound is 75% useless.

Then, there are the other five.

Only they can provide a chance to rebuild a stable colony where people work together in a healthy, sustainable community.

The Navy Seal: This position is important for a couple of reasons. Defense from lingering zombies is important, but Seals make natural leaders in crisis situations and have the Boy Scout training to provide food purification and basic survival habits. You must defend him at all costs.

The doctor: This one is obvious. Optimally, he or she is a general physician. A radiologist does you no good (unless this was the nuclear thing, but it’s not. It’s a zombie Armageddon, dang it).

The engineer: You need someone who can build logically and efficiently, as your limited number must produce the most output with the least effort. His training allows him to think about the bigger picture in regards to future planning. The Seal can make it work today, but the engineer makes it work better tomorrow.

The elder: Darwin might roll in his grave because of this, (or wake up because he’d be a zombie) but the weakest should not always be eaten. The elder is the keeper of the stories, the motherly figure that keeps us emotionally connected to the hardships of the attack with a strong gaze at the future. If Z-day happened tomorrow, most likely the elder would’ve lived through The Depression, WWII, and the Cold War. Zombies pale in comparison.

The advertiser: What you say? Sure we’d probably dish out some awful puns, like “That zombie was such a liar; I couldn’t take any more of his can-of-bull-isms,” but there is logic at work here. Hear me out. As marketing and advertising professionals, we spend more time trying to understand the human element for practical use. We cater to emotion. We effectively communicate.

Navy Seal too harsh? Engineer too technical and complex? Elder’s wisdom too metaphoric? As communicators, our expertise is the ability to transfer the most complex, ethereal or stoic message and make it meaningful and relevant.

Moreover, marketers, copywriters and advertising specialists possess a deeper understanding of most industries. In this world of narrowcasting and specialization, an advertiser needs to understand every age group and every product he or she sells intimately.

Just looking at our client base at Absolute Marketing Group, we have clients both past and present in every conceivable industry.

For example, did you know 1/4 cup of flax seed has as many lignans (fatty acids with potential immune building benefits and cancer risk reducers) as 90 pounds of cabbage?

Absolute Marketing Group deals with welders,scientists, restaurants, financial institutions, pharmaceutical suppliers, fireworks dealers, architects, political figures and water purification specialists to name a few.

Any good advertiser dives deep into what they market to create need and generate purpose. We have to.

Standing in the rubble of a fallen world, we can fill in the cracks-not to mention we are a vault of sci-fi trivia.

Next time you pass a transient with an “END IS NEAR” sign etched in cardboard, ask him when and then call your local agency. We’ll get our pointy sticks ready.